kristin has been a bad kristin
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
