Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
