just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
