How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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