i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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