Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
