your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wish you could order shots online.
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I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
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The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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