I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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