so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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