well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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