can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
