I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
