vagina is talking i cant
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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