Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
should my penis look like a turkey
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
