I would go down on you faster than GM stock
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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