I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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