I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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