I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize