Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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