3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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