I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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