I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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