apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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