I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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