Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize