Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
