I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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