Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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