im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
