1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
