so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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