Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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