dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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