Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
