If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
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