Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
