Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
