you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
