You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
