I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Randomize
