Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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