just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
