Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
