I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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