im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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