Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
