Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She bit a glass in half.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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