And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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