i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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