i was rollin on her like bob the builder
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
