can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize