Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize