So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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