Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
