also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you made out with another girl for some wings
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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