Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
