yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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