Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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