I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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