Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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