we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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