like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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