Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
